People always say that life is not about the regrets you have but the things that you have done. Well, without hesitation I can tell you that those people are stone cold lairs. Life is absolutely full of regrets and everyone knows it, they are just too busy trying to look for the positives to admit it. Regrets can and do come in all forms. They can be absolutely tiny. You could regret your choice of breakfast this morning. Should you have had toast instead of cereal? Regrets can also be huge. You may think later in life “should I have proposed when I had the chance?” or “why did I not change my job when I could have?” Life is absolutely full of regrets and I apologise if I am the bearer of bad news but that’s just the way it is.

For example, my biggest regret in life so far is not learning how to play an instrument. When I was younger I would have absolutely loved to have learnt this skill as I feel that it would have stood me in good stead in later life. However unfortunately now I am at the time in my life where I simply have no time. Every moment of my life is planned out to a tee. I have no time to try anything new as my work and social calendar pretty much takes care of itself.

It is going to sound cliché but my weapon of choice when it came to choosing an instrument I wanted to play was the electric guitar. Everyone all around the world knows that the lead guitarist is probably the most talented member of the band. The lead singer may get all of the plaudits and glory, but more often than not it is the lead guitarist who has written the songs and practised them until their fingers have almost fallen off to ensure that they sound as good as is possible. They are by a country mile the most talented members of the band! And no, I am not only saying that because I can not sing in the slightest…..

Looking around at the best electric guitars is still something I do today, even though I already know that there is not a chance in hell I would ever be able to learn to play one. My best years of learning are behind me now, and I will just have to make do with the scenarios I have created in my imagination. In my head I am the brains behind the worlds biggest rock band. As the person who writes all of our songs I have more money than I know what to do with and I know it. I’ve developed over the years that arrogance that most rock stars tend to have. A slight swagger, safe in the knowledge that I am better than anyone who dares to take me on. My band has played shows all over the world. We sold out shows in all seven continents. Antarctica was not that hard mind you, but the seven Eskimos enjoyed it. The stadiums just got bigger and bigger as we travelled from place to place and it all culminated in a home coming show at Wembley stadium. 90,000 people all shouting our name and signing all of the songs I have written back word for word. My 27 minute guitar solo went down as one of mankind’s greatest achievements. President Obama even compared it to the moon landings it was that good. We closed the show with the song which had been number one in the charts for the last 13 weeks and it brought the roof down. Fans were crying at the thought of the show finishing. We were that good.

And then I woke back up again and crashed back down to earth with a bump. It turns out that when I am asleep I am the world’s greatest rock star, but when I wake back up this dream vanishes back into the thin air from which it originally arose. When I woke up I went back to my boring 9 to 5 job and typed out the same stuff I do every day. I guess I’ll just carry on being a superstar at night for now…..